yamyam_kat (yamyam_kat) wrote,

Salt All Day Tonight (Story with original unedited transcript and pictures following)

There is a cat, just one cat. This cat loves salt so much. Her name is...

"I'm-" the cat introduces herself.

"We know, you are Alexa," Misty interrupts.

"Yes, yes," Alexa says with a nod, "Yes, yes!"

Alexa stands.

"Okay," she says.

"Okay," Misty says narrowing her eyes.

"Okay!" Alexa hisses. "I love salt. Salt, salt, salt, salt!"

A pause.

"SALT!" Alexa meows loudly.

Misty closes her eyes and shakes her head. This will not end well.

"Salt!" Alexa sings with a cat like voice.

Misty yells, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no!!! NO SALT!!!"

Alexa meows loudly.


Alexa tries to scratch Misty's red backpack.

"No," Misty scolds, "Do not scratch! There's salt."

Misty offers salt to Alexa. It's actually 'Fire Salt,' but Misty does not know this. (Author note: See the pictures below for more about Fire Salt. )

So the cat got the salt.

Alexa sings, "Salty dalty salt!"

Misty is happy their little fight is over. She offers the box of Fire Salt.

"Kitty, it's salt," Misty says cheerfully.

Alexa makes a face.

"Tastes weird," the cat says, "expired. NIA!"

Alexa howls.

"MEOW!!! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! HOT!!" Alexa jumps around the yard.

Misty looks at the box of Fire Salt, and yells.

"Uh oh! It's Fire Salt!" Misty calls.

Misty grabs some water, and pours regular salt into it. She throws it onto Alexa and herself to keep from catching fire. Steam rises from the ground as the water spills.

"I'm okay now," Alexa says.

"I'm okay too," says Misty.

They both sigh.

"Let's go to the salt party," Misty says.

Alexa stands up, excited.

"O-K!" Alexa meows.

THE END. Thanks for reading! Please click the LJ-cut tag to view the original transcript with illustrations and captions that add to the story.

Caption: Pictured here are Alexa the cat (left) and Misty, her human companion (right). Alexa is a very tall cat with a ribbon in her hair. She is also carrying a box of salt on her back, because she secretly hopes one day to grow up to live in a commune of cats that love salt as much as she does. Recently, she visited a farm where she learned that cows have salt licks. This box, while it doesn't house a salt lick, does allow for her to have salt anytime she wishes. She does not like pepper, so don't ask. Misty, worried about her cat's love for salt demonstrates the classic 'Facepalm technique' every time her cat sings about salt.

Caption: Top panel: Alexa (left) is angry with Misty (right) for withholding her precious salt. Alexa scratches at Misty's red backpack, and Misty retaliates by tossing the box of salt previously on Alexa's back across the room. Misty also tosses a red lollipop after the salt for good measure, because no one likes salt mixed with sugar. Yuck!
Bottom panel: To the right, we see an ad for Fire Salt, a brown cylindrical container with dark red crystals inside. The ad reads: "Beware! Spicy! Hot and spicy, but good!"

Caption: Misty (left) and Alexa (right) are on fire as a result of the consumption of Fire Salt (see advertisement on previous page). They are running around in sheer panic. Misty fetches a bucket of water, and begins to pour its contents on both herself and Alexa. The two are both shouting, "Hot!" Steam rises from the ground where the Fire Salt has been extinguished. The box of Fire Salt is seen flying through the air, somehow having gained sentience. Mission accomplished, the Fire Salt departs the scene to find its next victim.

Caption: Alexa (left) and Misty (right) have donned striped party hats. All smiles, they depart hastily for the neighborhood Salt party. The two sing about their party hats.

"Hat, hat!"

To the far right, we spy a book titled, "THE END" flying through the air. It is on fire. Behind Alexa, the box of Fire Salt gives pursuit to the flying book, its intended next victim. Poor book."

Tags: lj idol, original art, week 12
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